Living With the Shadow of Addiction
Addiction is often described as something physical, but Maria Mastay’s poem Addiction reveals how deeply emotional and psychological the experience can become. Rather than focusing only on substances themselves, the poem explores the constant battle between relapse and recovery, memory, destruction and healing. In only a few short lines, Mastay captures the exhausting push and pull of trying to escape something that once felt impossible to live without.
Some days, too much is not enough.
Other days, just enough is too much.
What I used to do just to get my fix.
Remembering that person who I used to be.
Burning bridges, causing pain and tears.
Fighting demons through the years.
Now I’m clean and sober today.
Still fighting the shadow that won’t go away
One of the poem’s most powerful ideas is the loss of identity addiction can create. The speaker reflects on “the person who I used to be,” suggesting that addiction slowly changes how they view themselves and the world around them. This line carries a sense of grief, almost as though the speaker is mourning a former version of themselves that feels distant or difficult to recognize.
The poem also highlights the emotional consequences addiction leaves behind. Mastay references “burning bridges,” symbolizing damaged trust and broken relationships. These moments remind readers that addiction rarely affects only one person; its impact spreads outward into families, friendships, and communities. The speaker’s reflections carry both guilt and self-awareness, showing how recovery often involves confronting painful memories and accepting responsibility for past actions.
What makes the poem especially memorable is its description of addiction as a lingering “shadow.” This metaphor suggests that addiction never fully disappears. Even during recovery, it can remain quietly present, waiting to return during moments of stress or vulnerability. The image reflects the ongoing nature of healing. Recovery is not always linear, but a continuous process of choosing to move forward.
Despite its darker themes, Addiction ultimately carries a message of resilience. Mastay reminds readers that healing is possible, even after years of pain and regret. Through simple emotional language, the poem offers a realistic portrayal of recovery and the strength it takes to rebuild oneself after addiction.
Contributing Author: Kiana Chanté Gillings McArthur
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Featured Image: Bermix Studio on Unsplash


