”What do you want from me?” Sebastian asks.
”What do you want for you?” the troll asks.
”I want it to stop hurting”, Sebastian asks.
”What?” the troll asks.
”You should know, if you’ve been inside me. Everything. I want everything to stop hurting”, Sebastian begs.
The troll doesn’t lie to him then. Sebastian really likes the troll for that.
”I can’t teach you how to make it stop hurting, Sebastian.”
”Then what can you teach me?” Sebastian breathes in reply.
”How to fight.”
”Fight against what?”
”Against everybody that’s coming tonight.”
”Who?”
”Your nightmares. Your weaknesses. Your inadequacies. Your monsters.”

In this powerful story, “Sebastian and the Troll,” Swedish author Fredrik Backman beautifully captures the journey of recovery from a mental health condition. At the outset, young Sebastian’s protective glass bubble represents the profound alienation, isolation, and internalization of his struggles. The bubble, once permeable, grows thicker and stronger as the world outside misunderstands and dismisses his condition. External pressures—symbolized by adults prescribing solutions like labels or pills—fail to reach him, highlighting the inadequacy of overly simplistic approaches to mental health. 

Backman’s introduction of the troll represents a significant turning point, as Sebastian realizes he must actively confront his inner demons and climb towards a meaningful life. Emerging from within, the troll signifies an awakening of self-compassion and resilience. By acknowledging Sebastian’s pain and teaching him to “fight”, the troll helps him reframe his relationship with his struggles. 

The battle against nightmares and monsters—a vivid allegory for internalized fears and anxieties—highlights how people have to face and endure their darkest emotions to escape them. The troll’s advice that these monsters cannot truly harm Sebastian but only incite self-destruction, reveals another essential insight: recovery often involves learning to resist self-sabotage. Thanks to the scrappy, imperfect and persistent troll within, Sebastian begins to recognize his strengths, preserving his identity which stubbornly refuses to ever let him disappear entirely. The cracks in the bubble, messy and incomplete, symbolize hope and the possibility of change. They don’t promise an instant or total escape from suffering, but they mark the beginning of something better.

The story’s resolution illustrates the profound transformation recovery entails. Sebastian ultimately reclaims his sense of self and begins climbing towards life. The encouragement to “just be Sebastian” underscores the importance of differentiating oneself from one’s disorders and marks a critical shift from living within one’s pain to living alongside it. In reaching through the crack to his mother, Sebastian demonstrates how recovery can heal and restore connections lost with loved ones and the outside world. Ultimately, the story suggests that getting better isn’t about erasing all scars, pains or despair—it’s about integrating these difficulties into our lives and allowing our imperfections to become our sources of strength. 

Backman’s touching story reminds us that we’re all so much more than the walls that entrap us. And even when we can’t see it or believe it, there’s always something left inside of us that does—something that keeps writing our name down so we don’t ever fully forget who we are and what we might become.

Read the full story here

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