In a society where trauma is either relegated to the abnormal or used as a catch-all term, Dr. Gabor Maté delves into the question of what constitutes trauma in our current day culture. In his book “The Myth of Normal” Dr. Maté, a retired physician with expertise in addiction, trauma, and childhood development, explains trauma is far more pervasive in our society than we acknowledge. Moreover, he explains that trauma is not a one-size-fits-all term but rather a spectrum of internal reactions to experiences.

He states that we often relegate trauma to the outliers of society. The truth is that trauma permeates all aspects of our collective lives, from personal functioning through social relationships, parenting, education, popular culture, and economics to politics. He points out that the true outliers in society are the ones without trauma. To begin the process of healing, he begs an important question. 

“Where do we each fit on the broad and surprisingly inclusive spectrum of trauma? Which of its many marks has each of us carried all (or most) of our lives, and what have the impacts been?”

Only once asking and reflecting upon these questions can we begin to understand the true complexity of the nature of trauma. He emphasizes that trauma is not the occurrence of the event itself but rather what happens inside of you as a result. Trauma is the enduring rupture within your sense of self because of difficult or hurtful events.

“Trauma is not what happens to you: it is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you…a psychic injury, lodged in our nervous system, mind, and body, lasting long past the originating incident(s), triggerable at any moment.”

Dr. Maté distinguishes trauma into two kinds, “capital-T trauma” and “small-t trauma”. The former encompasses experiences such as child abuse, familial violence, or the loss of a parent. He indicates that it not only is an underlying cause of a substantial amount of mental illnesses but also creates a predisposition to physical illness as well.

Small-t trauma is the form he calls nearly universal in our culture, encompassed by seemingly ordinary events, often in childhood, that leave long-lasting marks. Whether it’s bullying by peers, casual but repeated harsh comments, or a lack of sufficient emotional connection with our parents, all these events leave wounds in our psyches and our sense of self.

“Trauma of this kind does not require overt distress or misfortune…and can also lead to the pain of disconnection from the self, occurring as a result of core needs not being satisfied.”

While it is important to distinguish trauma from physical and emotional stress, as Dr. Maté points out, we can only begin to heal from our trauma, whether big or small, once we allow ourselves to acknowledge the hurt we have gone through and keep going through as a result. It is our self-compassion that is a vital first step in the healing of ourselves and our society.

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