Pistol is a song written and sung by the lead singer and guitarist of a band called Cigarettes After Sex. The band is infamously known for their slow, revived, heartfelt songs about relationships, mental health, and what it means to find comfort in sorrow. 

In the song, lead guitarist and singer Greg Gonzalez opens the song with a soft introduction of a guitar solo. He then begins to sing his need for someone to come and help him in situations he might know are dangerous or life-threatening, but can not seem to stop finding himself in. He sings: 

“Give me the pistol and aim it high. I’m out in the desert, shooting at the sky. Guess I really miss you, and I don’t know what to do.” 

Traditionally, when one shoots a pistol towards the sky, it is bound to come directly down where it was shot from–killing the individual who shot it high. Although the bullet might not come down straight away, in fact, it might take some time before hitting the person who shot it. 

Gonzalez uses this as a metaphor to say that he’s simply waiting to make a decision, to live or to die. Although the bullet might not hit him right away, he still has time to consider if he wants to live or end his life. He sings: 

You’ve been on my mind, You’ve been on my mind, You’ve been on my mind so long I can’t deal with it. And I’ll waste my time till you lift me off the floor, and love me. You’ve been on my mind

We see here that Gonzalez is constantly thinking about someone, in this case, a woman he was in a relationship with. Again, we see this idea of once the bullet is shot in the air, there is some time remaining for either him to save himself or his partner, which is his Hail Mary. 

Dead or alive, he yearns for his lover to come save him—if that means in time, with time running out, or if she decides to take time for herself and decides to reconnect things with him, she might have to lift him off the floor.

You can listen to Pistol by Cigarettes After Sex here

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Featured Image: Photo by Max Kleinen on Unsplash