Life flies by, we make plans, we chase after dreams and goals. We think we are indestructible, that nothing will stand in our way, then in a split second of time, life changes and the future with it. If you have not had a brain injury, I do not expect you to understand, the feeling of loss, loneliness, and the insecurity of who I really am.
I have spent years trying to make the best of a bad situation. There were many hours spent believing everything would be mended, by smiling, learning, hoping someday my life would magically change. I was waiting for anything, that gave me back what I knew I had lost. The only change that will happen now has got to come from within myself.
Reality is, I have had to come to terms with many broken dreams. I have to depend on others, something I would have never dreamed of. Time has taught me to let go, the broken dreams have taught me humility. Now time is spent planning a new future, developing new dreams and goals. I am never sure if dreams will come true, but hope is a gift that I give myself.
The disappointment is always there just under the surface, of what could have been. The years have not taken away the wounds, they have just taught me to deal with them. The internal struggle every day to do the things that were once so easy makes me sad. But then I look around me and I know that it could be much worse, and I feel thankful. I still believe broken dreams can be mended, and I choose to spend my energy there.
I have many broken dreams, but I am learning to replace them with new realistic dreams. There have been many disappointments, but I am learning to replace them with hope. No, I will never be the same, but I have learned to be satisfied with who I am now. I do not have to like the changes fate has made in my life, but I do have to deal with them. Yes, the broken dreams are still there, but new plans and dreams now keep my mind busy.
Sometimes I wonder if broken dreams were meant to be, to change the course of our life.
by: Debbie Wilson, 8-19-96