It’s widely acknowledged that childhood traumas can profoundly influence various aspects of our adult lives. While we commonly recognize the most overt forms of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as physical or sexual abuse, other forms of trauma, like emotional neglect, often receive less attention. Although these subtler ACEs may not be as immediately apparent, they can be just as impactful, shaping our futures in significant ways.

In the episode titled, “Emotional Neglect” from the Trauma Rewired podcast, hosts Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof explore the concept of emotional neglect in depth. They define it as “an emotional pattern where an individual’s needs are constantly disregarded, ignored, invalidated or unappreciated by a significant other.” Though not as visibly traumatic as other ACEs, emotional neglect can deeply impact adult relationships and overall health, influencing both brain function and immune system responses. One ACE study characterizes emotional neglect as feeling unloved or unimportant by family members, with a lack of meaningful support or connection. Jennifer and Elisabeth highlight that this disconnection, especially from primary caregivers, can result in elevated stress levels that negatively impact our brain and immune systems.

They also address the common misconception that emotional neglect is invalidated when compared to more overt and/or severe forms of trauma. This type of neglect is often seen as a “minor” issue, especially when other needs are met and the childhood experience appears otherwise positive. However, the absence of a strong emotional bond can significantly affect one’s self-perception and relationships with others.

When effective methods for emotional regulation are not taught, we often develop our own coping mechanisms, which can be less effective. Instead of learning what truly works, we’re left to manage with the limited capacity and knowledge we have at the time. This challenge often begins in childhood, when our ability to handle complex emotions and situations is still developing. By recognizing the underlying emotions behind our behaviors and taking the time to use neurological tools and somatic practices, we can allow these emotions to surface. This approach helps us move away from instinctively reacting with behaviors or protective responses, and instead, learn to feel safe with our emotions.

Tune in to delve deeper into the nuances of emotional neglect and discover how it manifests in adult behaviors. By the end of the episode, you’ll gain valuable tools and strategies to aid in your healing journey and learn effective techniques for emotional regulation.

Listen to the podcast here

Image Credits: Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash