You’re your own person, imperfections and all,

You’re your own hero when it comes to a flaw

In NEDA contributor Jessica Dyrek’s poem “Growing Up”, she describes her journey of healing from an eating disorder. Dyrek’s storytelling reflects the reality of the struggle of battling intrusive thoughts, societal expectations, and self-doubt—eventually finding the strength to rebuild her sense of self and escape the darkness of her disorder.

Dyrek’s poem traces the relatable story of a young girl growing up as external influences and norms slowly overpower her innocence and damage her self-worth. Appearance and weight became an indicator of her worth, food an enemy, and thinness her primary goal. Impactful lines like “[p]eople start talking; they notice your face, / [y]ou’re the girl who barely takes up any space” capture harmful, addictive patterns of thinking that can spiral into the identity of a full-blown eating disorder.

This trajectory is hardly exclusive to eating disorders. The poem highlights how suffering often starts small before it snowballs via powerful social forces that eventually mushroom over a person’s life. Whether in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, our neuroplastic minds absorb and internalize messages from the outside world, shaping our ever-developing ideas about identity, achievement, and value. As Dyrek points out, it’s often “too late” once one realizes that “what people are saying turns out to be true”, as the illness has by then already deeply ingrained itself into one’s psyche so much so that it is hard for the sufferer to see, and like a cult, it then becomes necessary that one be de-programmed to escape. 

Despite the sad undertones of the piece, the poem’s central message revolves around the strength to persevere through hard times to get to better ones. Dyrek reminds readers that recovery is never linear but always possible. She shares that recovery involves consistent efforts to rebuild trust in oneself, face fears that once governed day-to-day life, and unlearn disordered beliefs. Healing extends beyond regaining physical health to the reclamation of one’s life through finding or rediscovering new sources of happiness, autonomy, and well-being. The poem is a reminder to seek joy in life’s simple pleasures, like laughter, mindful movement, and love. The past may have been painful and difficult, but it is important not to lose sight of the possibility of redemption ahead. Freedom involves owning our imperfections, and heroically “do[ing] whatever it takes” to rediscover the light.

Read the poem here.

Image Credits:

Feature Image: Photo by RDNE Stock project

Body Image: Stormseeker on Unsplash