This poem, “A Thank You Letter to My Ex,” is a powerful testament to resilience and self-reclamation after a potentially traumatic relationship. It’s a nuanced exploration of gratitude born from pain and a declaration of strength found in the aftermath of emotional hardship. The speaker doesn’t offer a conventional thank you but, instead, a striking list of what was absent, highlighting the profound impact of neglect and emotional abandonment.

“So thank you for not showing up when I needed you. Thank you for forcing me to show up for myself.” This opening salvo immediately sets the tone. Rather than dwelling on the hurt, the speaker reclaims agency. The absence of support, a potential source of trauma, becomes the catalyst for self-reliance. This speaks to a common experience in trauma recovery: the realization that survival hinges on internal strength. The speaker acknowledges the pain of being unsupported but reframes it as a necessary push towards self-sufficiency.

The poem delves into the emotional aftermath, recognizing the lingering effects of a toxic relationship. “Thank you for reminding me that my heart is big and full of love, even if I’m pouring every last drop of it into the wrong person, places, and things.” This line acknowledges the potential for self-blame and doubt that often accompanies trauma. The speaker admits to investing in a harmful relationship but refuses to equate this with a lack of inherent worth. Instead, the speaker emphasizes the capacity for love, even when misdirected.

The speaker also addresses the physical and emotional impact of the relationship’s end. “The pit in your stomach goes away after a while. And then your body starts to crave the love you couldn’t give me from other things, like music, friends, and books.” This vividly captures the somatic experience of trauma recovery. The body holds onto pain, but it also seeks healing. The speaker finds solace in external sources, demonstrating the importance of finding healthy outlets for emotional processing.

“Thank you for reminding me that I was never as small as you painted me out to be.” This line directly confronts the potential for emotional abuse and manipulation. Trauma often involves a distorted sense of self, and the speaker acknowledges the ex-partner’s attempts to diminish them. However, they assert their true strength and resilience. “And how the knives you threw at me were never going to kill me, because I was still able to bandage myself back up. Which helped me prove to myself that I am not broken.” This powerful metaphor speaks to the speaker’s ability to heal and recover, reinforcing the idea that trauma does not define them.

The poem culminates in a powerful declaration of freedom and self-discovery. “There’s a quote that says you wouldn’t have learned how to ride a bike if someone you trusted hadn’t let you go. I’ve finally taken these training wheels off, and I’ve never felt so free. So thank you for letting me go.” This analogy encapsulates the key takeaway: growth and liberation can emerge from painful experiences. The speaker acknowledges the necessary “letting go,” reframing abandonment as a catalyst for personal empowerment.

Ultimately, this piece is a testament to the transformative power of resilience. It highlights the importance of self-reliance, self-compassion, and the ability to reclaim one’s narrative after experiencing trauma. It’s a reminder that even in the face of emotional hardship, healing and growth are possible and that the journey to wholeness often begins with letting go.

Spoken Word Poetry Video: https://youtu.be/XCa2r5Qjq5Q?si=XPO76nXSgbQfU-jR

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