Grief is something many people struggle to understand. We’re often told to “move on” after losing someone, but in her emotional TEDx talk, Nora McInerny explains that it doesn’t really work that way. After losing her husband, father, and having a miscarriage all within a few weeks, she realized that grief doesn’t just go away—it becomes part of your life. Her key message is clear and powerful: we don’t move on from grief, we move forward with it.

McInerny’s message also challenges the way society treats emotional pain. Often, people feel pressure to “bounce back” quickly after a loss, which can lead to silence, shame, or isolation. But grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and expecting someone to be “back to normal” can do more harm than good. By shifting our mindset, we create space for honest conversations about pain and healing. This not only helps individuals feel seen and supported, but also strengthens our communities by encouraging empathy and patience.

This idea connects closely to what we know about trauma. Just like trauma, grief changes how we think, feel, and relate to the world. It doesn’t mean we’re broken—it means we’re human. Instead of trying to erase the pain, McInerny encourages us to accept it and grow around it. Rather than suppressing pain or rushing to feel better, she suggests we honor it and allow it to integrate into our lives.

Her talk helps us understand that feeling sad for a long time doesn’t mean something is wrong with us. Instead, it means we cared deeply and were moved by the loss. And by talking more openly about grief and trauma, we can build better support systems and help each other heal in healthier, more realistic ways.

Watch the full video here: We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it.

Image Credits: Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash