Children Born of Rape Face a Painful Legacy
A friend of mine once told me that she was the product of her mother’s rape. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she wondered aloud, “Which are the rapist’s parts?”
Although rape is profoundly traumatic, relatively little has been said about the lives of children born from it.
As psychologist Andrew Solomon writes in his book, Far From the Tree, children conceived of rape are more likely to suffer from severe psychological disorders, the most common of which are Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety.
They face many challenges both before and after birth. Research shows that maternal stress severely affects embryological development. Many women who are raped opt to take antidepressants to help them cope, which can harm the fetus.
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 32,000 pregnancies in the United States occur each year as a result of rape, approximately 12,000 of which are carried to term and raised by their birth mothers.
After birth, the children’s lives don’t get any easier. Researchers Elisa van Ee and Rolf J. Kleber identified the post-partum period as a significant mental health risk for children born of rape.
These children often develop poor parent-child relationships, as violent rape can affect maternal capacity to care for the child and to form a loving bond. Researchers report that such circumstances may lead to abusive parenting or neglect. The children themselves may also feel responsible for their fathers’ actions, living in guilt and embarrassment. As Angélique, a child born as a result of rape, states in a Montreal Gazette report:
“I’ve always felt rejected by my mother and the rest of the family. And now she feels responsible for the problems I’m having, and I feel guilty about that.”
Children born of rape also face great social stigma. They are described as carriers of the deviant genes, and are often ostracized by families and communities. In instances occurring during wartime, many societies have adopted hateful labels such as “Russian brat” in Germany, “Devil’s children” in Rwanda, “Children of shame” in East Timor, “Monster babies” in Nicaragua, and “Dust of life” in Vietnam.
Yet many mothers are starting to speak out against the negative perceptions and stigma associated with children of rape. One of these mothers, Shauna Prewitt, claims that women are almost never consulted in media shaming of rape conception.
Even more noticeable is the growing voice of the children of rape themselves. The world’s attention was recently drawn to Valerie Gatto, a child of rape who competed for the title of Miss USA in June, 2014. She now works to educate young women about protecting themselves from sexual assault.
Without change to media and public perceptions, women will continue to face scrutiny over choosing to keep their children, and the children themselves will continue to be blamed and victimized.
– Sara Bencekovic, Contributing Writer
Feature: W H on Flickr, Creative Commons
First: Tommy Wong on Flickr, Creative Commons
Second: Skip on Flickr, Creative Commons
Thank you for this fine article. I’m in my 60s, and I just learned I too, am a product of rape. I was given up for adoption, which I am very grateful for. But, I still suffered from rejection issues most of my life.
2 years ago, at the age of 53 I learned I was conceived by an act of rape.
Very troubling to learn of, it shed light on so many things from childhood to current.
My biological mother and her husband raised me (If you want to call it that).
There are so many aspects that are born into this, I cannot possibly post it all here.
It certainly has not been a “loving” life. Although, I find myself always striving for just that.
Although very incomplete, I thank you for the article.
Many Blessings
How do we get pass the fact that,my mother had to take care of me by herself,his parents and my grandparents got together,and decided not to ruin his life,but never did anything for me,I grew up with a stepdad,that beat the hell out of me daily,his people telling me,go away,I didn’t belong etc,etc,
I’m a product of a rape. That women was raped at 12 or 13 yrs old. Her grandma took away her baby cuz of what people would say.
She grew up with her great grandma until her aunt, mad at her, revealed the truth trying to hurt her. What she didn’t know is that the product of rape was strong and made of stone that made her stronger!!! I’m a mom of 4 precious boys – their my life!!! I don’t have communication with any of my family, pretty much I don’t have any family besides my boys!!! I was 13 when I found out no one knew. I won’t ever tell anyone cuz I feel I’ll break !!!
My son was conceived as a result of rape. I don’t know how to protect him. He is 3 now. I don’t know what to tell him when he grows up.
While my mother was pregnant (before my birth), her boyfriend killed himself. I considered this man my father and I dealt with guilt of his death for 25 years, for I somehow felt responsible.
A man approched my mother with questions about me at her work. Memories returned to her of this guy giving her a ride home after her friend’s wedding. She realized this man drug raped her and he alone had known I was his child. We did the dna tests and unfortunatly this man was my father. This jerk waited until I was an adult to contact us; because he had talked to a lawyer and didn’t want to get in trouble and have to pay childsupport. This was almost 15 years ago now.
I am a bastard and it’s made me stronger, but I give no credit to the devil that spawned me.
I am currently facing the same thing Shelley! I have an 8 year old little boy. I’ve been dreading it and thinking about what I can tell him since the day he was born. I’m still none the wise.. but I do know that when the time comes to tell him, I’ll have my best friend by my side to help.
Just told I was conceived by rape. Life has been very hard, I am devastated.
I’m 51 and just found out several months ago. I have the same problems as the article says with depression, anxiety etc. So much crap and mystery makes sense now! My mother (who had the balance of a pro water skier) said she “fell” off a horse at seven months, the only “attempt” she’s admitted to. My problem…dealing with it NOW, I’m very conflicted and more self loathing than ever.