The 2019 Movie, Waves, spotlights the turmoil of a Florida family. It is broken into two halves. The first dissects the downfall of Tyler Williams, an accomplished high school wrestler whose college ambitions are disrupted by a devastating shoulder injury and the sudden news of his girlfriend’s pregnancy. His decisions, fueled by the pressure his helicopter father places on him, leads him to push his injury beyond repair, and have a drunken brawl with girlfriend, leading to her death. The second, explores the aftermath of this murder through the perspective of Tyler’s younger sister, Emily. Waves is a study of a family going through immense trauma and regret, a reflection of the consequences of overbearing parents and resentful relationships.

Tyler’s father’s conditional love serves as a catalyst for Tyler’s downward spiral. Trey Edward Schultz, the writer, displays the father’s perfectionist attitude toward his son. He criticises his son right after a win, claiming that he could’ve won in an even more dominating fashion. He regularly challenges his son to physical bouts, guilt trips and demeans him. This causes Tyler to hide his girlfriend’s pregnancy and the severity of his shoulder from his loved ones. This dynamic implies the father only gives his son positive regard on the basis that he meets unrealistic criteria. Their relationship can be explained through the work of Carl Rogers’ idea of conditional and unconditional positive regard. One’s self-worth is traced back to how their parents validated them. A child needs to understand that they are loved no matter their behaviour, allowing them to go and try new things, be open with others and self-actualize. Children who are taught their self-worth is based on meeting certain criteria, they may start to lie, conform, and deviate from their ideal self, to maintain validation from their parents. Tyler is one who derives his self-worth from the validation of his father. Instead of being upfront about his girlfriend, or his injury, Tyler opts to keep face to avoid criticism due to his inability to meet his father’s criteria. He lies, manipulates, and engages in destructive behaviour. This is what truly caused his downfall.

Another central message in Waves is the importance of forgiveness, especially in familial relationships. After Tyler was sentenced to life for the murder of his girlfriend, Emily, his younger sister, begins resenting Tyler. At the same time, she meets a boy named Luke. His father, once an abusive alcoholic, is now on his deathbed across the country. Emily convinces Luke to overlook his malice and visit his father. This echoes Emily’s own journey in forgiving her Brother and herself. It is all too common in today’s age to hold resentment toward one’s parents. In Waves the father is shown to be remorseful, and trying his best to hold the family together. Audiences go from hating him to feeling sympathetic. He, like Tyler, and like everyone else, is a human, with their own flaws and differences. As Rogers points out, every human needs a source of unconditional love, including parents. Parents are held to a higher standard from a young age. We expect them to be guiding figures, but this is an unrealistic standard. A parent should love their child unconditionally, but perhaps, a child should love their parent unconditionally as well, and learn to forgive.

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Feature Image: Movie: Waves