Pete Sciarrino’s poem Restless Nights is an honest reflection of his internal struggles with depression and anxiety. Though most of the poem is relatable to many who share the same struggles, the final stanza “I’m losing sight, of what I’ve already seen. I’m losing my grip, and I’m barely seventeen”, focuses in on the context of his age.

Restless Nights

I’m losing sight
Of what I’ve already seen.
I’m losing my grip,
And I’m barely seventeen.

I’m breaking;
I can’t be fixed.
I’m missing,
But I won’t be missed.

Still shaking
From what I fear.
I can’t let you in,
So don’t come near.

I guess you’re right;
I’m way too thin,
And I’m fighting a battle
That I’ll never win.

I have so many flaws;
I don’t know where to start
From my messed up hair
To my messed up heart.

So what’s the point
To continue to fight?
When my restless days
Turn into restless nights.

This life hasn’t been fair.
I can finally tell
That nobody cares,
And it hurts like hell.

I still don’t understand
What was God’s cause?
Why did He put me on earth
With all of my flaws?

Was I born just to die?
Am I part of a plan?
Made to finally see
That I won’t die an old man.

I don’t know how to live.
I have nothing to gain,
And all I want from you
Is to end all my pain.

I’m losing sight
Of what I’ve already seen.
I’m losing my grip,
And I’m barely seventeen.

Image Credit
Feature: Richard George Davis at richardgeorgedavis.com, Used With Permission